Have had quite a bad week this week. Had been feeling pretty emotional and stressed anyway, but on Monday, Millie fell down a rabbit hole and broke her leg. I had to carry her back to the house from the forrest out the back. Had to keep stopping as was so breathless and weak.
That was the straw that broke the camels back and I have decided I cannot cope with having her. Its been a HUGE decision to let her go, and one Suzie is not happy about. There are so many benefits to having Millie, BUT the negatives and stress outweigh those. I feel like I do not have a second to myself, as she demands so much attention, and needs up early etc, and these days I need so much sleep with being on MST etc. F and J always said they would take Millie when the time came so S phoned and has arranged this.
Handed in all my paperwork for ill health retirement so hopefully that will go through smoothly and my date should be the 1st April. Have decided to have a little HDU tea party.
On the plus side, we had x factor at AECC on Tuesday night, and had lunch with S and N yesterday which was really good.
It was L's 18th birthday yesterday. Cannot believe she is 18. It makes me wander/hope/be afraid at the thought of will I be around for Suzies as thats over 2 years away.
This is my story, as a 42 year old, young woman, living with terminal breast cancer.
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