Current Health

Well I found out last week (for sure), that the cancer is growing and has spread again. I have had the growth in my left lung, which was really slow growing over the last couple of years, but it has taken off now. From Oct 2010 to Oct 2011 it only grew 2mm, up to 10mm. Due to my cardiac CT Scan (which was fine by the way), they saw areas on both scans so I had restaging of cancer with Bone and CT Scan. Bone Scan was fine, but CT Scan showed growth and spread. The cancer in my left lung now measures 3.2cm (I think), BUT more worrying, is a new growth in my right lung which measures something like 5.2cm by 5cm (something like that). I always said the cancer had to grow again one day, and thought I would be 'ok' when it did, but I am totally gutted. I am angry and pissed off. I have felt unwell for the last couple of months, so am not surprised, but with feeling physically shit, I am not in a good place to be starting treatment again. Dont get me wrong, I can still do 'stuff', but not a lot of it, as just don't have the energy etc to do it. We decided to start Capecitabine Chemo tablets again. If you remember, they were the only chemo that has worked so far, so we decided it was sensible to start on these. I have been on them about 5 days now, and they are probably exacerbating my 'crappy' feeling. Another thing, from the CT Scan is a query about the growth on my right lung being a new primary - which would not be good. They are hoping its BC mets, BUT why would it sprout out of nowwhere and is bigger than the other one? There was suggestion of a biopsy of the right side, but they are waiting till after 3 cycles of this chemo. If the left shrinks and the right does not, then they will biopsy. So am back on the chemo treadmill again. Will have 3 cycles (9 weeks), of this chemo, then they will re scan to see if its working, and we will take it from there. I am tired, nauseas some of the time, fatigued, bloody coughing all the time, have had a few infections, and just cant be assed with it all. I honestly could throw in the towel. I know I shouldn't think like this, as there are others out there worse than me, but its how I feel. Hey ho. Lets see how it goes. Laters F xxx

Long Time!!

Hey Sorry its been so long since I updated. Health has taken turn for worse, but more about that later. Will jot down a few things I have been up to since last post (dependent on diary not memory!!) I suppose firstly I had my "I'm Still Here No 3" end of April. It went well and we raised I think over £4,000 for Aberdeen Breast Cancer Research Fund. A good night was had but think it has run its course now, don't plan on having another next year. Beginning of May, I started as a switchboard operator (voluntary), for one shift a week at childline. Really enjoyed it, but it did get a bit tedious with all the 'testing' calls, so I decided to do training to become a childline counsellor. I have now done 5 out of the 11 training nights, and am away to do my first practice shift this afternoon - shitting myself for that. Have been really undecided as to whether to continue or not due to present health, but gonna try to. In June, the pub had organised a day at Perth Races. Went with D, and J - had a brilliant fun day from start to finish. First time ever at races, and we didn't bet big, but really exciting. End of June, Suzie and I went to see Hugh Laurie sing in Glasgow - he was absolutely fantastic. We stayed overnight and had a shopping trip while we were there so had a good time away. Suzie had her usual busy summer - T in the Park with R, followed by Tenerife with the love of her life S. Hardly see her any more, but glad she is happy and getting on with her life. I did an appeal video for Aberdeen Uni - was not keen when they asked me, but if it can help raise the profile of BC and raise more money then I was happy to help. The video is still not 'out there' but is still being edited I believe. On 24th September, the Queen was opening the new Aberdeen University library, and because of all the fundraising I have done, I was invited, with a guest to a whole day of celebration. I took D, my old school friend, who now also fundraises for them. We started with an organ recital, lunch in Elphinstone Hall, a week drink in the High Street pub, then saw the Queen (saw not met), followed by a drinks reception then dinner in Elphinstone Hall at night. All in all a very grown up day for us. On Friday 28th September, my surrogate ma and da, S and D, got married. I was very privelidged to be invited, and had a lovely day. They giggled like teenagers the whole day, and it was very special. That kind of takes it to now. going to start a separate post about my current health. Thats the last 6 months in a nutshell. F