My wee retreat and thoughts

Well here I am writing , feeling very chilled out after my wee retreat. 
After watching the film Eat, Pray, Love, which so rang a lot of bells with me, I thought about going on a proper retreat, to try and find myself, after the way I have been feeling of late, but decided it was a bit too far just now and prob getting a bit too cold, so its something I may do next year.
Anyway, as a substitute , I booked myself 2 nights away at a spa hotel in Dundee, not too far from home, but far enough.
The hotel was beautiful.  I arrived on Sunday afternoon, and after checking in, I took myself down to the spa area - lounged in jacuzzi, sauna, then sat on lounger round the pool reading my book.  I then had a hot stone back, neck and shoulder massage with a bit of Reiki thrown in.  I then went to my room, changed into pj's and relaxed watching x factor and a dvd whilst getting room service for my tea.
On Monday, I ordered room service breakfast, woke to get this, watched a bit of morning telly, felt tired so had a wee nap.  I then went down to spa area, and used jacuzzi, sauna, and again lounged round pool reading good book.  I then went to bar area and had a light lunch and read my book whilst looking out over the water.  Later on , I had the most wonderful treatment ever - she combined my facial with my sole delight foot treatment, so I basically laid on the bed for 1 1/2 hours and got pampered, dosed off at one point.  I then me an old friend S for tea, drinks and a catchup.
I have come home today feeing very chilled indeed, whereas before I was very wound up.

What now tho - I did a lot of thinking,  I have this extra week off chemo to see if my physical symptoms get better.  Cant say I have noticed a huge difference - my bowels are not quite so bad altho still not brilliant, and my fatigue is marginally better.  I think I need to have discussion with oncologist as to whether to come off chemo altogether, until regrowth, or whether a 2 on 2 off chemo regime might be possible.  I have chemo nurse on Thursday to get next batch.  Maybe I shouldn't make any decisions till after my next scan in December................I really don't know what to do for the best - trying to measure quality over quantity at the moment.............but still I come up with no answers.  Its not an easy road or decision, but one I know I have to make and live with.

I am glad I went away, and glad I have had this time away from home to relax and think.  I definitely feel a lot calmer than when I left.  Even tho I don't feel physically much better, my head is a bit more with it.