26th March 2010

I remember thinking, when I got my terminal diagnosis, that my life was over, and I would always get ill etc etc.  OK, I have been admitted to hospital twice as an emergency, but apart from that, and readjusting life to live with the side effects of the chemo, I have been pretty damned well.  I have not had as much as a cold, and its not like I wrap myself up in cotton wool and do nothing.
I am not saying I dont get 'down' days, but they are few and far between.  I truly believe, in part, this is to do with the mindfulness course I did.  I mostly do live day to day - bit more difficult at scan times - but its a good way to live. 
It also helps to make plans for the not so distant future, to have things to look forward to.
My lovely BCN and Chemo Nurse, and a few other folks call me "inspirational".  I dont see that I am doing things different to what other people would do, but apparently I am.  I get quite embarrassed when they say things like that but also quite flattered.
I suppose the point of this post, is to say to anyone else, who has just been either diagnosed with cancer, or terminal cancer, that it does not have to mean life is over.  Yes its over as we knew it, but its the start of a new life, albeit a shortened one.  We truly to have to make the most of each and every day, when we feel well enough, and spend time making memories with our loved ones.  I really have accepted that this is what I have, and I just get on with it, as best I can - theres no other way to do it as far as I am concerned.