Went out with N and L for 'mad Friday'. The weather to get to N's was absolutely horrific. The roads were so bad it took me forever to get there. Just as I arrived I realised I had forgotten handbag (with all my meds in it). There was no way I could go back, the main drug was my sleeping tab, as I am still on 7 mgs. I found some Sevridol in my rucksack, so thought if I took them I might get some sleep.
Anyway, we had an ace laugh and at end of night went back to N's. I ended up taking 30mgs of sevridol - me thinks it was a tad too much. I was awake all night, but had very dodgy breathing - I was scared N was going to get up to a dead person in the morning. So lesson learned there - dont make up your own dose Fi!!!!
I really feel well just now (apart from hangover after mad friday - but I dont count that). Absolutely no-one would know that I was terminally ill, and in fact, when we were out I bumped into quite a few folk from my past, and they didnt know, and were just gobsmacked - they all handled it really well tho. I dont go up to folk and say by the way I am terminally ill, but neither do I hide it. It always ends up in the conversation when someone asks why I am not at gym anymore, or do I still work at sick kids, and when I say no, they then ask why. I am totally open and honest with people - if they cant handle it, then thats their problem, but I dont see why I should lie to people??? Maybe I handle things different from others, I dont know, but it feels right to me.
This is my story, as a 42 year old, young woman, living with terminal breast cancer.
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