Update

Well

Just thought it was about time I updated a bit.

Really have not felt the best, continuous gradual deterioration in physical health, feeling sick, very little appetite, bowels, weakness, lethargy, bit of weight loss.

Saw oncs on Tuesday. They did not seem that unduly concerned, but have said they wanted to do CT scan. She said i 'looked well', which to be honest, when I am saying to folks I am feeling really shitty, they are all saying but you look well. Just want to scream out "but I did not look unwell when mets where first diagnosed".
Yes I am worried the cancer has started growing again, and even spread, so any bad news will not be unexpected , I may be wrong, but I really do feel worse by the day!!

Waiting for a day for CT scan, and have gastroenterology next week for bowels - nae looking forward to that one.

I have not told many folks how bad I am feeling, just putting on a face. Mentally, whatever is coming, I am ready for it, it its bad news I will not be shocked.

On the plus side, enjoying doing stuff for school reunioin, its coming along nicely. The old school folks have been very generous with their donations, so raising even more money for Aberdeen Breast Cancer Research Study.

update again soon
xxxx

Me again

Well who else would it be????

Have been feeling a bit shit physically. Tired and just generally yeuch, little appetite! This however is not teamed up with weight loss!! After speaking to Clare, I looked more into side effects of lanzoprazole , and a lot of what I suffer is listed in rare side effects. I have prob been on this drug for few years to protect my gut through chemo and drugs, but stopped it due to major bowel issues. Since stopping it, bowels have been better, BUT bloody hell , have suffered from severe heartburn , what is one to do??? Will have to speak to gp or wait till GE appointment beginning of next week..... Life with this disease is not easy :(

Anyway, enough about that, the school reunion plans are going really well. We have around 60 confirmed, with very generous donations to Aberdeen Breast Cancer Unit. I am making up a PowerPoint presentation of school photos , and so far have about 50!!! Really looking forward to that!!! It's shaping up to be a good night..... More from that later.

Have compassion group tomoz and reflexology at CLAN tomoz so that should be good.

Didn't go to pub last night as just felt yeuch :(

Laters
F
Xxxx

Back home

Well, late last night I got back from my weekend in Reading to see Clare.
Clare is a lovely woman, mets dx as I have, but in my eyes she is worse off than me.
We clicked immediately (well I did), had a meal on Friday night and yapped all night. On Saturday,,we had our spa day at Nirvana Spa. When we arrived , we chilled in our robes by pool. I then had a lovely hot stone massage. After that we had a lovely lunch with a cheeky pims :). We then went to the quiet room which consisted of 35 tiled, moulded, heated stone beds and chilled there for however long, was very relaxing apart from Clares gentle snoring. Lol. We then went into HUGE hydrotherapy pool, which let me tell u, if u stood on bits u shouldnt stand on, water went where water should not!!!!! We then had a flotation treatment, 15 min intro, then 40 mins of floating in pool like dead sea , no energy required, total relaxation, altho felt sick if I closed eyes . Then had a sparkling Rose, part of day, then the lovely Jon picked us up and took me back to hotel, where I got room service and chilled.
On Sunday, I went to Clares, met Jon and Jack properly, and had lovely roast beef dinner, it was fab :) spent rest of evening chilling on own then came home Monday.
So glad I went down to meet Clare, love her to bits, she is very much like me.
Will write more tomoz about school reunion
Love to all
Xxxxx

It's been a while

Thought it was about time I updated this, and what better time when on a train journey. Have already watched 3 movies and won't have time for another, so here I am.

So where am I off to now? On train to Kings Cross then to Reading to meet a very special 'friend' called Clare. We have talked and got on so well for so long so I have bitten the bullet and going down to meet her in person for the weekend. We are Having a bar meal tonight to get to know each other then tomoz we are having a spa day at a posh spa called nirvana, it looks bliss. I am having a hot stone massage then we are both having a flotation treatment, lunch is included. At night I will just go to my hotel and chill out. On Sunday, I am going to Clares to have a lovely roast (at least I hope it will be lovely lol). Then it will be home Monday :(

Health wise I have had a few niggles lately. Tiredness, increasingly breathless with some chest pain when walking even on the flat, and bowel issues for which i have been referred to Gastro - nae looking forward to that one!!!!!

I got a stay in a hotel donated for my fundraising, and managed to sell 2 raffle books for it, so raised another £200 for Aberdeen Breast Cancer Reserch, well happy.

I was being a wee bit hermit like for the past few weeks, not wanting to go out etc, just like end of last year but trying to push through it!!

I met up with 2 school friends, who I have not seen since last reunion about 13 years ago, and from meeting them 4 days ago, we have organised another school reunion. Looks like we have a lot of interest, it will be much bigger than our last 'very mini' one a few months ago. We are going to sell tickets and proceeds will go to Aberdeen Breast Cancer Research.

Suzie doing fine, now in second year of college, and now has dads car as he has stopped driving, think he has just had enough.

Have oncology end of this month so gonna push for CT scan to put my mind at rest, think a year between scans is enough!!!!

Will try to post more often.........away to drink my free wine lol

Love to all xxx

McNastys charity day

Well my lovely new pub McNastys, did a whole fundraising day for my charity - Aberdeen Breast Cancer Research Unit.  We had 5 guys got various parts of themselves waxed - big ouch in some cases, and Auntie M, got her head dyed pink then shaved to a number 2!!!!!!!!!  The Evening Express photographer came to take piccies.  They laid on food, and there were 4 comedians and a couple of singers.  The fun and frolics officially started at 2pm, but quite a few of us met for breakfast and drink at 1130.  Finally got home at nearly 3am!!!

I can honestly say, it was a fantastic day.  I was very humbled that all these folks would do this , essentially for me, what a brilliant bunch of new friends I have there.  We raised over £4600 including the waxing, donations, sponsorship and raffle.  We had a great turn out of people, and just a super fun day.  We honestly just laughed and smiled the whole day. 

Huge big thank you to everyone who took part, contributed, and came and supported the event.  Another fantastic memory for me.  You are all brilliant.  Sure there will be a few sare heids today - lol

Paris June 2011

Suzie wanted to go to Paris for her 18th, for the photo opportunities.  We were there for 4 nights.

Paris far far exceeded my expectations.  It is a beautiful city - absolutely stunning buildings, so so green, and we just had an ace time.  It was very hot the first few days in mid to late 30 degrees - so we were grabbing shade when we could - not easy when your touring about.

On our first night, we walked to the Eiffel Tower then had dinner. 
On our first full day, I had booked a two hour mini bus tour which took us to all the big sites, then we had lunch in the Eiffel Tower, followed by an hours trip down the Seine.
The next day we caught the metro and went to Sacre Couer and Montmartre.  Sacre Couer was absolutely stunning, and strolling then sitting round the main square in Montmartre watching the artists at work whilst having a cheeky glass of wine was just lovely.  We stayed there for an early dinner.
On our last day we went to Disneyland , and with the help of a 'special' pass, we got on all the rides practically straight away.  Suzie chickened out of a couple of the big rides, and I had to grab a random and ask if he wanted to come on the ride with me as I needed an 'escort' with having my special pass.  Talk about a couple of adrenaline rushes!!

So that was Paris in a nutshell.  Would not have chosen to go there myself, but so glad Suzie did.  As I said beautiful city and great to spend that time with Suzie.
Took a couple of days to recover when I came home though, but well worth the effort.

SOOOOOOOOOOOOO HAPPY

Well today is the day.
Suzie has been home from her dads, opened her pressies, which she loved, and is now away to pub.  Now waiting for dad to come and get me to take me to pub to 'set it up', before she, and others arrive about 7.

I think and believe, I am actually more excited about today than Suzie is.  Dont think she truly understands what it means to me to still be here and celebrate this day with her, and still be so well too.

I am going to be cracking open the champagne tonight, even tho Suzie does not like it.  It has got to be celebrated.

This is one landmark, that I am very very happy to still be here for.  Not looking for the next one, just gonna enjoy the here and now, its the only way to live.

Love and happiness to anyone who may read this - FEEL THE LOVE XXXXXXXXXX