Me again - I know who else would it be :)
Main news is I had oncology appointment today. After much waiting!!!!!!!!!!!, chatting, poking, and prodding, oncologist turned round and said I was the healthiest person she had seen today - of course my mind immediately thought - nae bad for a dyin person - tee hee. She is seeing me again before Paris just to make sure I am fine, but she, and me are well happy.
About Paris, I have now booked hotel, which looks onto Eiffel Tower.
Went to meet in Leeds last week, boy it took so much out of me, much more than I thought. I guess because everything is so stable, I expect more from my body than it allows. Just have to remind myself sometimes that I cannot do anything like I used to do, but I suppose if I dont try I wont know?
As a result of Leeds being so tiring, I am going to cancel my trip to the Holy Isle, as it is so much hassle to get there. Really wanted to go, but dont think the after effects will make it worthwhile.
SUZIE PASSED HER DRIVING TEST. I am so so proud of her. She really was not confident, but she did it, and altho she still does not like driving, she is loving the freedom!
Still out loads with friends. My new local has become McNasties bar in town with G - great place with friendly folks.
Have Asda bag pack tomoz, not looking forward to it from standing/back point of view, but pub will make it better after :)
My back is still pretty sore - going to GP next week to review meds, and have ordered lumbar support cushions online, so hopefully they will help.
So, all in all pretty good. Mind is still happy so thats excellent without happy pills. Weather been pretty good and sunny so have had lots of walks, just me and my ipod much of the time, and that makes me happy. The most natural anti-depressant there is.
Ta ta for now
xxxxxxxxxx
This is my story, as a 42 year old, young woman, living with terminal breast cancer.
Friday, 22 April 2011
Tuesday, 5 April 2011
Still feeling pretty darned good
Hi there
Again its been a wee while since I posted, I must make more of an effort to post more regularly.
Whats been happening?
Loads of lunches, meets with friends etc.
Fundraising plans coming along nicely, and also have a bag pack at Asda, so that should make quite a bit.
I have had a lot of back pain since December. Got an x ray, and although I was a bit worried, I was not worked up about results, just thought what will be will be. It turns out I have sacralisation of L5 - which is a congenital thing (go google it), so basically will just have to put up with pain.
I have started back at gym and out walking, altho both make back sore, I have got to lose some weight - the way I see it , its a double edged sword - the heavier I am, the worse I think my back will be!!
I have quite a lot of stuff coming up next few months, which always makes me feel good. But on the whole, I feel very good anyway, still very happy and positive.
Next week I am going to Leeds for an overnight stay to meet up with about 17 other cyber friends from bc pals. Just booked that today, so looking forward to that. The day after I get back from there, I go to Inverness with Jan for spa night. Then it will be the bag pack, then the fundraiser.
In May, I have booked for a 'mindfulness retreat' on the Holy Isle. I wont know another soul there, but have got so much out of my mindfulness, I thought what the hell - throw caution to the wind , so that's a 4 day thing.
In June, Suzie and I are off to Paris for 4 nights for Suzie's 18th. She is doing great, and is still loving her photography course at college. We have been out driving lots as she has her driving test next week - good luck Suzie!! Her driving has come on in leaps and bounds.
I have joined 'groupon', so have had a spa treatment about once a week/fortnight, for the last month or so, so that's been fab too.
Dad had a trip and smashed his face last week, that was a bit traumatic, but he has made a good recovery - bit scary tho!!
Think that's about it for now. As I said, its all pretty good, long may it continue.
Thank you for reading - if there are still any out there.
Love
xxxx
Oh - took Suzie to Dunnottar Castle today for her to get pics, I had forgotten how beautiful it is so have attached one or 2 pics.
Again its been a wee while since I posted, I must make more of an effort to post more regularly.
Whats been happening?
Loads of lunches, meets with friends etc.
Fundraising plans coming along nicely, and also have a bag pack at Asda, so that should make quite a bit.
I have had a lot of back pain since December. Got an x ray, and although I was a bit worried, I was not worked up about results, just thought what will be will be. It turns out I have sacralisation of L5 - which is a congenital thing (go google it), so basically will just have to put up with pain.
I have started back at gym and out walking, altho both make back sore, I have got to lose some weight - the way I see it , its a double edged sword - the heavier I am, the worse I think my back will be!!
I have quite a lot of stuff coming up next few months, which always makes me feel good. But on the whole, I feel very good anyway, still very happy and positive.
Next week I am going to Leeds for an overnight stay to meet up with about 17 other cyber friends from bc pals. Just booked that today, so looking forward to that. The day after I get back from there, I go to Inverness with Jan for spa night. Then it will be the bag pack, then the fundraiser.
In May, I have booked for a 'mindfulness retreat' on the Holy Isle. I wont know another soul there, but have got so much out of my mindfulness, I thought what the hell - throw caution to the wind , so that's a 4 day thing.
In June, Suzie and I are off to Paris for 4 nights for Suzie's 18th. She is doing great, and is still loving her photography course at college. We have been out driving lots as she has her driving test next week - good luck Suzie!! Her driving has come on in leaps and bounds.
I have joined 'groupon', so have had a spa treatment about once a week/fortnight, for the last month or so, so that's been fab too.
Dad had a trip and smashed his face last week, that was a bit traumatic, but he has made a good recovery - bit scary tho!!
Think that's about it for now. As I said, its all pretty good, long may it continue.
Thank you for reading - if there are still any out there.
Love
xxxx
Saturday, 19 February 2011
Fundraising
I was organising through paperwork and stuff this afternoon and wandered how much money I (and my friends family), have raised since I got cancer.
I totalled it up and it comes to just over £9,600. I am very proud of that. And of course with my birthday fundraiser in April, we will definitely hit over 10 grand.
Apart from £2000 which was given to the Willow Foundation, the rest has been for various breast cancer research charities.
Thank you to all of you who have helped but hill climbing, baking cakes, race for life, and of course birthday fundraiser. I couldn't have done it without you all
xxxx
I totalled it up and it comes to just over £9,600. I am very proud of that. And of course with my birthday fundraiser in April, we will definitely hit over 10 grand.
Apart from £2000 which was given to the Willow Foundation, the rest has been for various breast cancer research charities.
Thank you to all of you who have helped but hill climbing, baking cakes, race for life, and of course birthday fundraiser. I couldn't have done it without you all
xxxx
Tattoo
I have thought about it for ages, and though what to get, and I just love it.
It is on my upper arm, and going down my arm reads
Suzie
(a heart)
Live
Laugh
Love
As I said I just love it, and so did Suzie.
Thursday, 17 February 2011
Just and update
Well thing remain good with me, both mentally and physically.
I was at GP yesterday, and we have been weaning my happy pills, to try to relieve tiredness, so much so, that I have only been taking one (was on 3), for the last 2 months, so when I spoke to her yesterday, I said I was keen to try stopping, so that's what is happening. I am really positive about this. I know I will have times when I get down, but can hopefully manage these times using my mindfulness etc, BUT if I do need to get back on them, then that will be fine also.
I have now organised another "I'm Still Here Fundraiser" for 30th April, so have been busy writing begging letters and invites etc, so hopefully will do well again this year. Raising the money for Aberdeen Breast Research Centre this year. I have also started a justgiving page - www.justgiving.com/fionasmith42.
Suzie has decided that she wants to go to Paris for her 18th, so she can get pictures of the Eiffel Tower, but of course there will be plenty more to photograph over there, so that will be in June.
I cannot believe my baby is nearly 18, and even more so, that I am still here to celebrate it with her - for that I feel truly lucky.
xxx
I was at GP yesterday, and we have been weaning my happy pills, to try to relieve tiredness, so much so, that I have only been taking one (was on 3), for the last 2 months, so when I spoke to her yesterday, I said I was keen to try stopping, so that's what is happening. I am really positive about this. I know I will have times when I get down, but can hopefully manage these times using my mindfulness etc, BUT if I do need to get back on them, then that will be fine also.
I have now organised another "I'm Still Here Fundraiser" for 30th April, so have been busy writing begging letters and invites etc, so hopefully will do well again this year. Raising the money for Aberdeen Breast Research Centre this year. I have also started a justgiving page - www.justgiving.com/fionasmith42.
Suzie has decided that she wants to go to Paris for her 18th, so she can get pictures of the Eiffel Tower, but of course there will be plenty more to photograph over there, so that will be in June.
I cannot believe my baby is nearly 18, and even more so, that I am still here to celebrate it with her - for that I feel truly lucky.
xxx
Tuesday, 8 February 2011
Lucky
I was sitting thinking last night.
A few times lately, when I have been talking to various people about how my chemo had worked so well for me, I had said "I feel so lucky". These people, not in a bad way, said "well I wouldn't use the word lucky as you are terminally ill with cancer". Yes that's true, it is totally shite, and was certainly not the best news I have ever had in my life (understatement), BUT, I do feel lucky to have had this extra time, feeling reasonably well most of the time, with my family and friends.
Yes cancer still sucks, but its the hand I have been dealt in this life, and I just have to get on with it as best I can.
A few times lately, when I have been talking to various people about how my chemo had worked so well for me, I had said "I feel so lucky". These people, not in a bad way, said "well I wouldn't use the word lucky as you are terminally ill with cancer". Yes that's true, it is totally shite, and was certainly not the best news I have ever had in my life (understatement), BUT, I do feel lucky to have had this extra time, feeling reasonably well most of the time, with my family and friends.
Yes cancer still sucks, but its the hand I have been dealt in this life, and I just have to get on with it as best I can.
Sunday, 6 February 2011
Interesting
Well its been quite a while since I have written on here - kept thinking about it but it didn't seem like I had much to say - more of that later.
I have just watched a new pilot series called The Big C. Its about a reserved suburban housewife (no that's not me), whose cancer diagnosis forces her to shake up her life and find hope and humour in her situation. I thought it was actually quite good, I suppose cos I have tried to find humour in my situation, seems to be the best way to get through this. Anyway, going to continue watching it and see how it develops.
I had a piece in the local paper again yesterday. I actually met with the journalist S, who did the original piece in the paper before my fundraiser last year. We had lunch a few days ago, and she is absolutely lovely. She e mailed me on Friday to see if I wanted to do a 'feel good piece' in the paper about my chemo, and how its worked for me, and why I stopped it, so I agreed. The piece was very positive, and it also mentioned me and Suzie going to Paris, for her 18th in June. This was her choice, the main reason being to get a picture of the Eiffel Tower. I haven't booked it yet, but that will definitely be our next trip. Also in the piece, I managed to reiterate, that a terminal diagnosis does not necessarily mean immediate death, we just need to adjust out lives, listen to our bodies, and try to enjoy the rest of our lives.
Suzie is loving her college course, and her photographs are brilliant, I am very proud of her. She has also got herself a part time job now, so I see less of her, but it is giving her independence, and more importantly, her own money, she loves pay day!!!
Just this past week too, I have booked another birthday fundraiser for April. This year this money is going to go to Prof Heyes, Aberdeen Uni, who does research into breast cancer. I hope to meet with him this coming week, and then I can start getting begging letters sent out etc. I haven't left myself much time this year, so am gonna have to get a move on, but at least it will give me something to focus on.
All in all I feel really good just now. I am starting to exercise again, albeit gently, and am desperately trying to lose some weight. I have gone from 3 to 1 anti depressant, and feel really good still, so might even come off them altogether.
I see oncology this month - its been 3 or 4 months since I have seen them, but don't really think I have any worries.
Must update sooner next time
Thanks for reading
I have just watched a new pilot series called The Big C. Its about a reserved suburban housewife (no that's not me), whose cancer diagnosis forces her to shake up her life and find hope and humour in her situation. I thought it was actually quite good, I suppose cos I have tried to find humour in my situation, seems to be the best way to get through this. Anyway, going to continue watching it and see how it develops.
I had a piece in the local paper again yesterday. I actually met with the journalist S, who did the original piece in the paper before my fundraiser last year. We had lunch a few days ago, and she is absolutely lovely. She e mailed me on Friday to see if I wanted to do a 'feel good piece' in the paper about my chemo, and how its worked for me, and why I stopped it, so I agreed. The piece was very positive, and it also mentioned me and Suzie going to Paris, for her 18th in June. This was her choice, the main reason being to get a picture of the Eiffel Tower. I haven't booked it yet, but that will definitely be our next trip. Also in the piece, I managed to reiterate, that a terminal diagnosis does not necessarily mean immediate death, we just need to adjust out lives, listen to our bodies, and try to enjoy the rest of our lives.
Suzie is loving her college course, and her photographs are brilliant, I am very proud of her. She has also got herself a part time job now, so I see less of her, but it is giving her independence, and more importantly, her own money, she loves pay day!!!
Just this past week too, I have booked another birthday fundraiser for April. This year this money is going to go to Prof Heyes, Aberdeen Uni, who does research into breast cancer. I hope to meet with him this coming week, and then I can start getting begging letters sent out etc. I haven't left myself much time this year, so am gonna have to get a move on, but at least it will give me something to focus on.
All in all I feel really good just now. I am starting to exercise again, albeit gently, and am desperately trying to lose some weight. I have gone from 3 to 1 anti depressant, and feel really good still, so might even come off them altogether.
I see oncology this month - its been 3 or 4 months since I have seen them, but don't really think I have any worries.
Must update sooner next time
Thanks for reading
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