Current Health

Well I found out last week (for sure), that the cancer is growing and has spread again. I have had the growth in my left lung, which was really slow growing over the last couple of years, but it has taken off now. From Oct 2010 to Oct 2011 it only grew 2mm, up to 10mm. Due to my cardiac CT Scan (which was fine by the way), they saw areas on both scans so I had restaging of cancer with Bone and CT Scan. Bone Scan was fine, but CT Scan showed growth and spread. The cancer in my left lung now measures 3.2cm (I think), BUT more worrying, is a new growth in my right lung which measures something like 5.2cm by 5cm (something like that). I always said the cancer had to grow again one day, and thought I would be 'ok' when it did, but I am totally gutted. I am angry and pissed off. I have felt unwell for the last couple of months, so am not surprised, but with feeling physically shit, I am not in a good place to be starting treatment again. Dont get me wrong, I can still do 'stuff', but not a lot of it, as just don't have the energy etc to do it. We decided to start Capecitabine Chemo tablets again. If you remember, they were the only chemo that has worked so far, so we decided it was sensible to start on these. I have been on them about 5 days now, and they are probably exacerbating my 'crappy' feeling. Another thing, from the CT Scan is a query about the growth on my right lung being a new primary - which would not be good. They are hoping its BC mets, BUT why would it sprout out of nowwhere and is bigger than the other one? There was suggestion of a biopsy of the right side, but they are waiting till after 3 cycles of this chemo. If the left shrinks and the right does not, then they will biopsy. So am back on the chemo treadmill again. Will have 3 cycles (9 weeks), of this chemo, then they will re scan to see if its working, and we will take it from there. I am tired, nauseas some of the time, fatigued, bloody coughing all the time, have had a few infections, and just cant be assed with it all. I honestly could throw in the towel. I know I shouldn't think like this, as there are others out there worse than me, but its how I feel. Hey ho. Lets see how it goes. Laters F xxx